I Am The Milkywaykid...

Just Like That

2011-12-31T19:22:00.005Z

It almost doesn't feel real that 2012 is happening in just a few hours. I have thought about it, talked about it, planned how I want it to be and been looking forward to it.., yet just when it is due to roll in, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by it.

Wow, just like that, another year is about to be wrapped up. Just like that, everyone is one year older. Just like that, time has flown by. Just like that, just like that... I'm probably feeling more 'just like that' than anything else because 2011 has been unfulfilling in so many ways. It has been 'just like that'. If I asked a person who's achieved a lot in 2011, I'm sure 2011 must have been a bloody meaningful year for him/her. As I have nothing to claim for in 2011, I can only shrug and say 2011 has been 'just like that'.

After months and then weeks and then days of waiting, 2012 is finally just hours away. Unlike the previous New Year's Eves when I was ready to usher in the new year, I'm still struck by the surrealism of it. In fact, it feels so sudden, so unexpected even. It hasn't fully registered that it is not a mere wish that 2011 is over, it is coming to an end. I need to drum that more into my head and all senses so I will appreciate this moment, the moment I have been waiting for. 2012 is a new beginning for me. It has to be.

It is a high time for me to bury the year of 'just like that'...

Funny Games - Austrian, 1997

2011-12-31T00:08:00.002Z

Funny Games. Is. Not. Funny. At. All.

In fact, it is one of the most disturbing films I have ever watched. It is disturbing in that there is simply no explanation and no reason to the plot. The evil depicted in the film really keeps one awake; wondering and wishing that someone will offer some sense to the how or why or what of the plot. Well, in its brutal way, the film only serves to remind us that sometimes in life, not everything can be explained.

In this film, it is about pure evil. It isn't the violence as such but the film really does evoke a sense of forboding dread and chill through and through. There is one scene which is so vivid in my mind till this day - the scene where the camera zooms in on the evil eyes/gaze of the character. It sends shivers down my spine.

Perhaps that is why I am still holding off watching the other equally notorious Haneke's, Benny's Video. I wonder if I can stomach that?

Verdict? 7.0/10.0

Impasse du désir (The Impasse of Desire) - French, 2010

2011-12-30T23:49:00.001Z

The film explores the psychological effects of love and obsession via its main three characters. The protagonist in this film is a psychotherapist whose marriage is falling apart. While seeing a patient with a rather complex past, the psychotherapist tries to manipulate the patient into murdering his wife to avenge her leaving him. The patient, obviously a confused man, cannot tell between reality and illusions, thanks to his psychotherapist... So, did he or did he not murder the psychotherapist's wife after all?

Besides my curiosity of the film's ending, watching the process of how the psychotherapist messes up the patient's mind is very fascinating. It just goes to show how much influence a psychotherapist has on his patients if he/she chooses to exercise his position of being a confidant.Watching this film is also especially interesting for me as I've just finished reading a book on psychotherapy.

Anyway, I have enjoyed the film very much and the acting is brilliant. The plot, although seems so simple, carries so much weight with it and it is fortunate that in the end, it delivers.

Verdict? 6.5/10.0

La fille coupée en deux (The Girl Cut in Two) - French, 2007

2011-12-30T22:08:00.002Z

Director of this film: Claude Chabrol.

That should say it all actually. I am not quite his fan, to be honest. His films sometimes try too hard to show depth that in the end, I simply didn't get it... or at times I thought them to be somewhat pretentious.

Anyway, on to my thoughts after watching this film just 10 minutes ago. Well, I started watching this film months ago but only got to 45 minutes of the film before I had to stop. Nut wasn't into it and we had to switch to another film halfway through. I however, had made a mental note to finish watching this because the film did manage to arouse my curiosity as to how it would eventually unfold and end.

As I am home alone this evening, I decided to watch the film.

I don't really know what to think of it. The overall 'feel' of the film is quite surreal. The acting by all the main actors and actresses is fine - they portrayed the characters they were asked to portray, I guess. The surrealism of the film is very much Chabrol and I'm not sure if it ever will grow on me. And I still think it is quite pretentious and superficial even... The plot is interesting and has a sexual connotation to it, which is very subtly conveyed. It pretty much leaves the viewers to their own fantasies but when one watches it, one will get it.

All in all, I don't think it disappoint as a film. In fact, Chabrol fans might even find it good?!

Verdict? 6.0/10.0

Rundskop (Bullhead) - Dutch/Flemish, 2011

2011-12-30T11:56:00.003Z

This is a very male-dominated film and it feels very masculine, too. It's not something I'd normally go for but knowing that it is of the crime genre, I thought why not.

Surprisingly, I really enjoyed the film. It is very well made and although the plot development feels slow at times, I think it is worth the pace. In fact, with a pace like that, it kind of manages to subtly entice me to be more curious and care about the main character. Sigh - such a tragic story indeed...

The main character doesn't have a lot of dialogue but his expression says so much. The angst, the longing, the anger anger - every emotion is very well expressed on his face (and his flexed muscles!). The background colour of the film is probably made to be slightly gloomy and grey but that I think does bring out whatever effect that the director probably intended for it to do.

I will not hesitate recommending this film at all. The only word of caution is - can be a bit slow but once you get it, you basically get it and it all clicks!

Verdict? 7.00/10.00

Hodejegerne (Headhunters) - Norwegian, 2011

2011-12-30T11:43:00.002Z

This film is an adaptation of Jo Nesbo's novel. I've never read anything by the author, so I didn't know what to expect when I sat on the couch getting ready to watch it. All I knew was it is a thriller and really, that was all I needed to know...

The film starts with Roger sharing with the audience his views on life, his life and the fact that he's got a chip on his shoulder. That is the basis of the plot - how the thrill starts. I cannot give it away too much but it is about Roger's insecurity and jealousy and how that get him into trouble.

The film has some humour in it, which I feel sometimes make light of certain thrilling or tense situations. I'd actually prefer it without the humour...

Anyway, the main character (and the actor himself) is just so damn ugly and I didn't find him at all relatable or likeable. So, that marred my experience of watching this film somehow. I'm going to give a biased rating here, so don't rely on it 100%, okay?!

Verdict: 6.00/10.00

p/s: There's even David Beckham look-alike in the film!!!

Bitter Moon (1992)

2011-12-30T11:26:00.003Z

I was urged to watch Bitter Moon by Nut. I wasn't entirely convinced and was very reluctant to spend my alone time doing that. However, as I'd promised him I'd do that, I decided to just do it and be done with it! Little did I know how much I'd enjoy it...

I feel empathy for both the main characters in the film (Peter Coyote and Emmanuelle Seigner)... The narrative by Peter Coyote is intensely powerful (that says a lot about the script).There is never a dull moment in the film. It is really a good film (at least in my opinion) and the story is very engaging. One can't help but feel sorry for each character at different point of the film.

The only lamentable part of the film is the last 10 minutes of it... The ending really is anti-climactic and I wished Roman Polanski had written it differently. The ending is so abrupt and so... convenient... Oh well!

Still, definitely one to watch (so rarely do I recommend an English film, hey)!

Verdict? 7.00/10.00

Clearing Off...

2011-12-30T10:54:00.003Z

There are so many things I must accomplish in 2012. Just thinking of making the list overwhelmed me. Yet, I thought listing them down will help to remind and steer me towards achieving them...

Clear off my Barclaycard and Santanderbank's debt.
Clear off my debts to Nut.
Clear off my study loan.
Clear off my overseas HSBC credit card's debt.

Aahhh, just seeing them now makes me shudder. How on earth did I get myself into this debt-ridden state in the first place? And to think that debts #1, #2 and #4 all happened in 2011! What a mess. A big hot mess. The quickest way for me to pay everything off is by my winning a huge sum of money in the lottery. So, what is the likelihood of that happening in 2012, considering that I do not play the lottery every week? I don't know but my take on winning any money is not about the probability of one playing the lottery, rather the significant amount of good luck one has at one particular time. For example, I can buy 100 tickets every week for a year and not winning anything but if I am suddenly loaded with a lot of good luck at any one time and I buy just one ticket at that time, I can potentially be hit with a windfall. So there... Anyway, back to the list... To clear off those debts while waiting for the lottery windfall to happen means I must put aside some money every month just for that purpose. Also, it means I have to stop shopping. Just put a real stop to it - resist any kind of temptation and remember my goal of clearing these debts...

I meant to continue with this list but I'm not sure I can do that now. I'm starting to feel dizzy... and frightened. I really do want to live a debt-free life and I see no other options other than to start working hard to pay them off. And to stop spending money unnecessarily, which is the biggest challenge. Well, the rational voice in me is urging me, "Stop thinking - just do it". Yeah, that's it - stop thinking, just do it...

"Get Me Out of Here!"

2011-12-29T12:58:00.002Z

I see an evolution on my main Facebook page. What I see scares me. Big time.

I joined FB a few years ago. It must be in 2008? I don't remember but I know for sure when I joined, I saw a lot of 'fun things' on my main FB page. I saw many pictures and posts by my friends of their outings, of their boyfriends, of their colleagues, of their holidays... and of course there were also pictures of other people who were tagged in their pictures. I would spend hours and hours browsing and checking out what had become of certain people since they left school/Uni, what they had been up to, what lifestyles they were living and where they were. I was like a super sleuth who was completely filled in on what others were up to in lives.

My own FB however, has always been 'quiet'. I don't announce what I do in my FB. My status is perpetually unchanged. I value my privacy too much to share it with the world. Besides, I do not like the idea of anyone discussing me following any status updates I post in my FB. So, I've chosen to be silent... but I'm actively observing and checking out others who are perhaps very vocal or exhibitionist about their lives.

It was really quite fun to check people out and then gossip a bit about them over meals with my close friends. Shallow as it was, I really quite enjoyed doing that (gossiping). At times, I would get jealous when some people posted really good news or updates about themselves, and wished that my life were as good if not better than theirs.

Anyway, over the years, my main FB page has evolved. In late 2010 and the whole 2011, I've started finding it tedious and boring looking at the posts. From all the 'fun' stuff these people used to post in the early days, they have turned into mothers-and-babies' stuff. The main page is beginning to look like some parenthood forum. When I signed in to my FB, I'd be greeted by millions of pictures of babies. Babies and more babies and more babies.

My main FB page doesn't just scare me these days, they bore me. The first thought that's always come to mind within minutes of signing in to my FB has been, "Get me out of here!".

Discontentment

2011-12-18T15:53:00.000Z

I cannot believe that it will be Christmas next week. How time flies!

When 2011 is over, I will be very glad indeed. I can't say that I will miss it very much. It has been a very tough year for me. It has been very tough for me financially and professionally. The year has been both emotionally- and mentally-draining. When I look back to the first half of the year, I see myself struggling. Then when I look at the third quarter of the year, I see myself struggling again. I don't like what I see. I'm surprised I'm still here typing this. I'm surprised that I have survived it all.

Now that Christmas is coming, all I want to do is relax. But of course, relaxation doesn't come easy for me. There are always things pre-occupying my mind. Things that keep me feeling discontented. I really want to overcome this discontentment. I really do.

I just wonder how.

I Must Not

2011-06-18T19:15:00.001+01:00

As mentioned in one of my old posts, I had been obsessed with McDonald's last month. And guess what?

The obsession is still ongoing!!! I have at least five McDonald's meals in a week, every week since the beginning of my obsession. It is getting a bit too pricey, this obsession. Every meal is between £4.19 and £4.39. That means I spend approximately £25 a week on nothing but McDonald's meals. Not good at all.

I need to completely ban myself from McDonald's from this week on. I am even beginning suspect that the spread of my guttate psoriasis is probably the result from this obsession.

I must make a mental note to stop myself from walking to any McDonald's. I just must not have McDonald's meals anymore. I must not. I must not. I must not.

I must not I must not I must not...

Itchy Everywhere!

2011-06-18T19:06:00.000+01:00

Updates on my psoriasis.

It has been ages since I wrote about it. I try not to whine about it too much as it is already a part of my life that I simply cannot seem to eliminate, despite my effort. Thought perhaps I should just 'document' the latest status of this curse.

My scalp psoriasis: on-and-off. In fact, it seemed to have calmed down a bit after my Etrivex shampoo a few months ago. Then of late, it is back again. Back with a vengeance, I must say. Very flaky indeed the past few days. I might just have to change the shampoo. Seems like my scalp psoriasis has grown pretty resistant to the Etrivex. I wonder if there is anything new in the market that I haven't tried (or have missed out)?

The frightening news on my psoriasis is... I think I have got guttate psoriasis now. I have noticed dots of them all over my body lately. Not a lot but definitely they are here and there all over my body. I don't know how to control them. At the moment, I am just ignoring them with the occasional Cloderm ointment. The guttate psoriasis does worry me because they can get quite uncontrollable and they are not localised on just one part of the body like the scalp psoriasis. So... I don't know what to think about it now. Sigh.

I will just have to monitor how my psoriasis is on the whole. I don't know what to do about it yet but I guess at some point, I do have to put a lot more effort on 'fixing' it before it gets any worse!

Life or Death

2011-06-18T18:53:00.000+01:00

I watched the documentary, Choosing to Die the other day. The subject of death often fascinates me... and as soon as I read about it on the tv programme during the weekend, I made it a point to watch it.

Of course, with a title like Choosing to Die, it discussed about the controversial subject of euthanasia. Very controversial subject indeed, as I am pretty certain a lot of people would frown with disapproval (or even superstition) at that idea. As for myself, I think I am actually quite receptive to it. I 'think' because that is how I view it now, while death is not quite upon me (unless it be an accident). But based on the natural lifespan of a human being, my being in my current age means death is probably still decades away. So, who knows, perhaps when come the time when I am much older, I might want to cling on to life instead of choosing to die?!

Based on my current state of mind, I would say with certainty that I know for sure I don't want to live forever in this world! If I had it my way, I would definitely choose to die as soon as I am incapable of any physical activities... I just cannot bear the thought of growing old and not being able to live life the way a young person does. I cannot bear the thought of suffering or being a burden to another person. I simply cannot. I don't know what or why or how, but I have always thought this way. A very morbid thought indeed, huh?!

That said, I should not ponder or write too much about this, as it may not be many people's cup of tea. So, I will sign off and write about life as it is at the moment rather than the unknown in the future...

Pack-and-Go

2011-06-18T18:29:00.000+01:00

Finally, I am back!

Many things happened in my life in the past two months - some good, some bad. Life is, as they say - full of ups and downs. Managing these ups and downs often take their toll on you, and I guess that is why people grow old?

Anyway, I have been living a nomad life for a while now. In fact, I am starting to get used to it! Crazy, but probably quite true. The downside to this way of living is I no longer have a real base where I can feel absolutely at home. And to lose that familiarity probably also means a loss of a personal identity somehow. Despite being accustomed to the nomadic lifestyle, I do long for that familiarity. But until that materialises, I just have to continue doing the pack-and-go!

Come to think of it, it reminds me of my university life somehow. I used to bring so little from home to the university and each time when I had a chance to go home to my beloved bedroom, I would pack almost everything up and leave as little as possible in my residential college's room which I shared with another girl. Often, friends who visited our room would wonder if there was anyone at all staying in that room but my roommate.

Anyway, I so wish that I can soon return to a more 'normal' way of living. I do hope beyond hope that it will all happen soon. Time will tell, I guess.

Flyaway Time

2011-05-29T13:45:00.000+01:00

I haven't realised how quickly time has passed by. I need just a bit more time... and I will be back.

On The Track

2011-05-06T23:47:00.000+01:00

What a full week I've had!

Anyway, it's good to be back.., and I'm surprised that I'm not already collapsed into my bed. Perhaps that is a good sign in itself?

Unlike all the previous times, this time, I am very aware. I am checking myself out every now and then. I am very conscious of my mind and actions. I am doing my absolute best to stay on track.

So many times I had actually caught myself slowly steering off the track. And so many times I had to get myself back on track.

As you can see, I am clearly making an effort. I am trying to remind myself what I should or should not do.

And from what I can see, there is still a lot to be done before I will finally stay on track.

But this time, I believe I will.

Vicious Cycle

2011-05-01T21:10:00.000+01:00

I am seeing the similarities between job-hunting and house-hunting now. Most importantly, I know what these two activities usually bring about - a lot of stress.

After succeeding in securing a job, I feel like I'm now being thrown back into the similar situation in the house-hunting endeavour. I am really quite sick of this. (Perhaps that explains my food obsession).

We have viewed a few places in the city already. Nothing too impressive so far. Flats or houses which are of decent size are reserved for the wealthy folks. People like most of you and I will just have to be contented with living in tiny boxes. That's how I see it. I simply cannot imagine any average person earning an average income renting or buying anywhere decent in the city. Definitely not in a good area. It is exasperating.

I haven't got the strength or the energy to even browse the internet sites in search of a proper flat/house now. They are all the same. They are all expensive. They are all small. They are all in not-so-central areas.

At a time like this, I do wish I knew a wealthy or a super resourceful friend... Or better yet, I wish I would inherit something from a long-lost relative or something. But alas, all these are nothing but wishful thinking.

So, I am back to square one of going through another vicious cycle of an incredibly stressful period!

Food Obsession

2011-05-01T19:43:00.001+01:00

I have been absolutely bingeing myself with McDonalds' value meal everyday lately. When thinking about what to eat for my next meal, the red-and-yellow packaging fries automatically popped into my head. And to make it worse, the image didn't just pop into my head, I acted on it, too. So, I have been feasting on McChicken sandwiches everyday for the last few days, and today, instead of the sandwich, I had the McNuggets meal. And I always ordered everything LARGE.

I feel no guilt about eating so unhealthily but this type of eating pattern of mine reminds me of the previous times when I got obsessed with different types of food for a period of time. And unfortunately, all the food that I had been obsessed with were very unhealthy food, even more so as I had them on a daily basis.

Just to name a couple of previous food obsessions, I had a tub of about 500g of Haagen Daz caramel ice cream everyday not too long ago. It made no sense totally, especially as it was during winter when I had this obsession. And then, there was a time when I was so into Oreo cookies that I had them at my every meal - 10-15 pieces each time! It was crazy. Just crazy.

Right now, I think this obsession with McDonalds will stick around for a bit as I'm already quite craving for the fries as I'm typing this.So, all I can say at the moment about McDonalds is... I'm definitely so lovin' it!!!

Now Everyone Say "I Do"!

2011-04-29T10:17:00.001+01:00

What a day, what an occasion in England today!

The eldest son of the late Princess Diana, Prince William is getting married to Miss Catherine Middleton in the Westminster Abbey.

So, what do we all say? "I do"!!!

'Mine' The Gap...

2011-04-26T18:22:00.006+01:00

I am so vain. And that is why I am now becoming this freak that takes the pictures of her teeth everyday. I can't believe I am doing this but I can't seem to let this go. I can't get to the stage where one becomes barely conscious of the retainer one is wearing to straighten her teeth.

It has been two and a half weeks now and I see no improvement in my upper teeth! This is killing me. I will live to regret this if the gap between my two front upper teeth does not close soon. I actually gave permission to my dentist to file the teeth to create this gap! I look silly with the gap. I look stupid even. I have become so self-conscious of the gap that I tried to smile without opening my mouth (but of course that failed miserably).

I have been looking at the mirror day in and day out, trying to convince myself that the gap has become slightly smaller. Of course that is not true, though! That is why I am so upset!!!

I am giving myself three months... In three months if this gap doesn't close, I am so going to get the Invisalign to fix this.

Argh, I am just so annoyed now.

Where Was I?

2011-04-19T14:27:00.001+01:00

In my last post, I was an angry person. I was pissed off. I was stressed out. I was tired. I was demoralised. I was de-motivated. I was giving up.

Then, it all changed the minute someone said 'yes'. That one simple word changed everything. And most importantly, it came at the most appropriate time.

Someone (or in this case four of them) actually believed in me enough to give me a chance.

So, here I am, totally re-surrected and I am so going to make this the chance of a lifetime!

Moving On

2011-03-15T23:09:00.003Z

Ok, so I have been told that the future lies in my existing expertise area.

Ok, so I have been dissuaded from trying to break into this industry.

Ok, so after talking to more than 20 people with no one willing to give me the opportunity, I say - enough is enough.

I am staying within my expertise area, that is. I am steering the wheel of my career back to where I started off in UK.

And this time, I will make the most of it.

So, ok - thank you very much, I am moving on.

Fear

2011-03-04T15:37:00.000Z

Everyday I feel the fear within me growing. Growing and growing as the time passes by.

I have not heard anything positive for a long time now. I am starting to feel like there is absolutely nothing out there. And I don't know what to do anymore.

I have been trying to apply to hundreds of job ads for over two months now. If there is still nothing by the third week of March, I would be in a serious trouble. Real serious trouble, if you ask me.

I wonder if anyone can see the fear on my face. Or hear the desperation in my voice. I know for sure the fear and desperation are starting to take over my being. I feel overpowered and totally consumed by these feelings.

That doesn't help anything, does it? At the end of the day, I still need a job. Who will give me a job?

Breaking Point

2011-02-27T09:09:00.000Z

I am reliving the frustration that I experienced three years ago when I was jobhunting. Everyday is an uncertainty. It is the time of the unknown.

What is more exasperating than being completely helpless about a situation? What is worse than just sitting and wait for the feedback that tends to incline towards the negatives? It feels absolutely horrible.

So bad that I am almost at my breaking point at the moment.

I am doing my absolute best to stay afloat but everyday my fear compounds. Everyday I feel my heart beating faster. Everyday I am sinking lower.

I ask myself everyday, "What can I do?". Nada. Absolutely nothing. I have sent out so many applications and I was only give two chances, which in the end came back negative.

I really am at the verge of the breaking point.

Tattoo - German, 2002

2011-02-17T13:56:00.000Z

The film was beautifully shot. Very stylistic indeed. Some images were pretty graphic, though.

The plot was pretty good... The focus was very much on the main character, which I am sure most viewers could empathise with. Nevertheless, I only wished that all the characters, not just the main, were given more depth.

The overall atmosphere of the film was pretty eerie and trance-like in some scenes.

All in all, a good film. Again, my only gripe with the film is the really the lack of development of the supporting cast...

Verdict? 6.00/10.00.

The Relationship That Never Was

2011-02-06T23:19:00.000Z

Don't know why I suddenly thought of him tonight.

Don't know why I feel the way I do about him right now.

Don't know why I always feel somewhat guilty about not reciprocating his feelings for me.

Don't know why I even bothered sending him an email...

I know, though...

That there was and will never be any love I feel for him.

That he will always be a very special friend to me despite us not keeping in touch.

That I don't regret not giving him a chance... because I knew I would only end up deceiving him.

That whatever he does in life, I will only want the best for him...

... For him to be happy with the woman he truly deserves.

El habitante incierto (The Uninvited Guest) - Spanish, 2004

2011-02-05T13:42:00.001Z

Hmmm... How should I review this film?

The fact that I watched this film in several sessions kind of actually affected the whole experience of the film. Note: Do not do that - try to finish an entire film in one viewing!!!

Both Nut and I were just very exhausted after a long day at work... and couldn't continue with the film after 35 minutes into it. No, it wasn't because it was a bad film. Not all. In fact, far from it. We were just tired, and reading and concentrating on the subtitles weren't at all easy. After all, this was not a Hollywood film which required no brains. One needs to think and interpret the events when watching it.

Anyway, the film was good. It held my attention span and the plot was very different. Quite original... Towards the last 20 minutes of the film, a lot of things started to make sense and it was really intriguing. I still have a couple of questions about the film but I hadn't got a chance to really sit down and ponder on them. Hopefully I will get it after my pondering. Anyway, even if I don't, it doesn't really matter that those details don't really affect the plot very much.

Now... why don't you watch it?!

Verdict? 6.5/10.00.

F&N Sarsi

2011-02-05T13:28:00.000Z

Lately I have been craving for a bottle of good ol' Sarsi...

I rememebr back in those days when I was still young, all restaurants would never miss to serve F&N Sarsi and Orange at wedding dinners. Those days were long gone, as Sarsi has been replaced with Coca Cola, which is considered more trendy and modern.

I am not too sure if Sarsi is still available in Malaysia (perhaps with modernised bottles?) but if it is still around, I will definitely not miss it when I visit my home island next month!

Year of Rabbit - 2011

2011-02-02T20:16:00.003Z

At this hour, the Asian continent has already ushered in the Chinese New Year - the Year of Rabbit.

At this same hour, too, I am sure many of those in Queensland, Australia are living in fear, wondering the amount of damage the Yasi cyclone has done to their beloved town.

On a personal note, (a rather somber one actually), I wonder how she is doing. She, as in my dear ah-po.It has been months since her stroke... and sadly, instead of unification, her illness has brought upon a disintegration of the family.

I often wonder how she is, and how she feels everyday. I wonder about how she copes with the situation and the truth is, I am the one who find it hard to cope. I cannot bear the thought of her going through all these.

But what can I do?

Nothing, really. There are so many things that many people can say about 'on the hind sight'. Perhaps I can, too. But I choose not to, because there is no point begrudging the point of no return, is there?

Today, on the first day of the Year of Rabbit, I wish from the very bottom of my heart that somehow, my ah-po will find her peace and be happy again.

Gong Xi Fa Cai.

January Shopaholic

2011-02-02T18:43:00.004Z

I don't know what is wrong with me. I declare myself an official January-shopaholic.

I just reviewed all my banking transactions today, and I found myself having spent excessively and senselessly in January. Excessively because I basically almost dried up my savings doing that.., and senselessly because I simply bought and bought and bought!

I did exactly the same thing last year. I spent and spent and spent until February finally drew in and all the bargains in all the stores ended. I remember vowing that I should not do the same this year... because there were still some clothing items which I have yet to wear since I bought them last year. Yet... when January came this year, the bargains just proved to be too irresistible!

So, I was posessed yet again to shop till I dropped. Now that January has ended and there is no more sale anywhere, my posessed-self has regained the composure and control. A little too late for my pocket, though.

Oh, well... But I am glad to say that I am not an all-year-round-shopaholic. I am most definitely just a January-shopaholic. Not sure if it's a good thing or not... I guess I am just trying to comfort myself, really.

The Beautiful Boxer - Thai, 2003

2011-01-31T11:39:00.001Z

I didn't expect myself to like this film at all. The narration and the way this film was directed and shot really made all the difference. I was hooked the minute it started. The flow of the film was so well done. Instead of making this into a muay-thai action film, the director made it into a very powerful drama that actually reflect the beauty in the sport.

It was loosely based on a true story... and the main actor (whose real profession is a professional muay-thai boxer) carried the main role very convincingly. I even cried at one point of the film. Not just that, I watched this film twice in the cinema!

The scene where Nong Toom was beleaguered with his sexual identity in the middle of the deserted muay-thai ring area was so hauntingly beautiful. It was really amazing how his inner tussle was captured so profoundly on the screen in that scene (him slapping off the white powder, him dancing in the middle of the square).

All in all, I couldn't think of anything not to like about the film. Perhaps, the men population might not enjoy the film very much due to the transsexual theme of the film.

But really, do watch it with an open mind - you won't be disappointed.

Verdict? 7.5/10.00

Carancho - Argentinean, 2010

2011-01-31T11:16:00.000Z

As with most Argentinean films that I've watched, the plot of the film took a long time to build up. It focussed on the character development during the first half of the film... and then once everything became clear - BAM!!! The pace quickened tenfold and viewers were kept at the edge of their seats from that point onwards...

As soon as the pace picked up, there was just no turning back. And the good inital part spent on the character development was NOT a waste, as it really helped the viewers (myself, in this case) to understand and empathise with the characters.

The film was very interesting with a real original plot (as always). Ricardo Darin is indeed a fine actor.

A very good thriller with very strong acting from the cast and definitely an original plot.

Don't miss this one.

Verdict? 6.5/10.00.

Non ti muovere (Don't Move) - Italian, 2004

2011-01-30T22:45:00.001Z

Absolutely beautiful.

The film was so well done and everything about it was really beautiful. The rawness of the characters (especially Penelope Cruz's) was so pure. The film was also shot in such an artistic way that it really brought out the atmosphere of the film.

I love the scene when the main characters first met... and the scene in the rain when both the characters reunited... I have to say Penelope Cruz was phenomenal in her role. She managed to bring so much of life to the character that the viewers simply couldn't help but empathise with her. And she also made Italia believable somehow, despite the exaggeration of the character.

The score of the film was also very approriate. Definitely added to the poignancy of the film as a whole.

Do I recommend it? Definitely a resounding yes!

Verdict? 7.00/10.00

Palabras encadenadas (Killing Words) - Spanish, 2003

2011-01-30T22:36:00.002Z

A psychological thriller. Definitely worth watching although I am still quite disturbed (and slightly confused) by it. The synopsis provided by most of the film sites were not very accurate, as the so-called word-game wasn't really the gist of the plot. In fact, it was only a small part of it. The plot centred more on the mind-game played by the main character, set to confuse everyone....

It didn't waste any time going straight into the story. In fact, the first scene itself was already pretty engaging. Although the film wasn't something that really creep you out with lots of gory scenes, it was powerful in that it evoked a certain fear in you. Fear of the unknown and then it threw you off with its twists. Very clever indeed.

Watch it!

Verdict? 6.0/10.00.

Feux rouges (Red Lights) - French, 2004

2011-01-28T16:44:00.000Z

Finally!!! This film has got a very dark humor in it... and it was very good.

Thoroughly enjoyable and top notch acting from the cast. I still remember the tension I felt while watching the film. I could fully empathise with the main character in the film. The film was not trying to be pretentious in any way. In fact, the way the plot built up was so seamless - very natural and it managed to keep the tensed atmosphere throughout.

Brilliant and highly recommended! Definitely no cliches and nothing about this film was really predictable.

Watch it!!!

Verdict: 6.5/10.00.

L'immortel (22 Bullets) - French, 2010

2011-01-28T16:36:00.001Z

A series of disappointing films I'd watched in late last year somehow. This is yet another one which didn't live up to my expectations.

The director used a lot of Puccini's composition as the music for the film, which was absolutely great (I love Puccini!). Other than the music, nothing else was really great about this film.

A lot of Hollywood-ish cliches and action scenes. They were exactly the kind of things that killed my interest in any films. Oh, I hated all of those stuff.

That said, I don't think I need to elaborate more...

Verdict? 3.0/10.00.

Confidences trop intimes (Intimate Strangers) - French, 2004

2011-01-28T16:28:00.000Z

Sigh... What am I meant to say? Again, another disappointing experience. The film started off so promisingly and as it went on, it just lost its appeal more and more. It aspired to be a Hitchcock masterpiece, but it certainly didn't achieve that.

The only thing that made this film a thriller in any way that I can possibly think of is the music used in the film. The music sounded very thriller-like and somehow created the thriller-like atmosphere. Other than that, nothing else about the film was thriller-like.

Definitely an unmemorable film!

Verdict? 3.5/10.00.

The Housemaid - Korean, 2010

2011-01-28T16:21:00.001Z

Awful film... I don't know what's the hype about this film about. I went into this with a very high expectation, only to be let down through and through.

Acting was well done but the plot, the way the film was set up and set out... Not my cup of tea!

I didn't enjoy it. I won't recommend it but well, maybe I am the odd one out.

Verdict? 4.0/10.00.

Sisterly Love

2010-12-28T11:59:00.000Z

The age gap between my sister and I is nine years. Nine years! Gosh... I wonder what did my parents do in between that period that kept us so far apart in age.

Yet, in spite of the nine years, when we got talking, we both would just be like two children of the same age. We would talk about everything and anything under the sun, sometimes without caring, for we both know what is and what isn't for us...

The best thing about us both is that we both know and fully understand each other's potential and limitations. We both are aware of our differences and similarities. We both sometimes assumed the role of the elder sister or the younger sister, whenever the situation called for it. We both care and support each other, in our own sometimes non-expressive ways. But ultimately we both know and feel the love we have for each other.

The familiar voice of my sister at the other end of the phone always means so much to me. I am not afraid to feel or be vulnerable when sharing with her my thoughts and fear. She always gets it. I don't even have to try explaining too hard. Believe it or not, she really does always get it. That is what matters the most to me.

The bond we have, the familiarity we share and the care we show for each other... that is what sisterly love is all about.

And that is what will always matter to us both...

Sick Dog

2010-12-18T10:30:00.000Z

... That refers to me! I have not been feeling 100% since Thursday. By yesterday evening, it got worse. I was sneezing a lot and my forehead's starting to feel warmer than usual.

This morning, I can feel the heat in my body. My forehead's getting warmer. Gulping 3 glasses of water already, I am feeling no better.

I guess I am officially down with fever. I am definitely a sick dog today (and tomorrow, and the day after... hopefully not!).

My Last Christmas Party

2010-12-18T10:22:00.000Z

We just had our departmental Christmas party. It was pretty good - as enjoyable as ever.

The events leading to the Christmas party had not been smooth, though. People got upset, people wanting to opt out of the event, people wanting to boycott it, people staging a 'protest' over a decision made, people having to travel elsewhere at the last minute... All these things, although nothing directly to do with me, really upset me. I couldn't believe all these issues arising from an annual event that had taken place without fail or any hassle the last two years suddenly became issues.

I thought people were being silly. I was being silly - to care or be bothered by these. But I couldn't help it. I hate conflicts. I just wanted everyone to gel and have good times together. Besides, this would be the last Christmas party with the same bunch for me...

Anyway, when our big-guy made a speech and mentioned '...dark clouds above us', I thought to myself, "little did he know how big these dark clouds are...". If only he knew!

Well, the party was good. There was a little friction at one point between PW and myself but well.., in the end, despite that, the party went well. It was quite a good party. Would have been much better if all the issues hadn't arisen.

Oh well.

La Sconosciuta (The Unknown Woman) - Italian, 2006

2010-12-17T14:11:00.000Z

I watched this last year... It was a good film but somehow it didn't impress me as I had hoped it would. There was something that it lacked but I couldn't pinpoint exactly what, as there was nothing much I could fault it for.

It was a sentimental drama with a little bit of thriller in it, or vice versa. Of course, I wouldn't have guessed the secret the woman was hiding until it was almost revealed... So, that was good. I usually don't like predictability when it comes to thrillers. And most of all, I hate Hollywood-ending as they are always so unrealistic.

Anyway, if you like thriller dramas, then watch it. It is rated quite highly on the IMDB, after all.

Verdict? 6.5/10.00.

Le conseguenze dell'amore (The Consequences of Love) - Italian, 2004

2010-12-17T13:53:00.001Z

I love this film…

Not too much dialogue. Quite a quiet film but the silence most of the time was actually a very powerful tool for the film. It created a haunting and a kind of aloof effect on the film. Despite that, the film definitely did not lack any substance. Very stylishly done indeed.

Just to fill you in, the plot of the film revolves around a loner, and during the first half of the film, one is kept guessing the identity of this loner. Very slowly, the identity of the loner is revealed and another side of the loner is exposed. He then falls in love with a woman… only to suffer from the consequences of love eventually (hence the title, perhaps?).

Do watch it to appreciate it.

Verdict? 7.5/10.00.

Antikörper (Antibodies) - German, 2005

2010-12-14T15:19:00.000Z

Very interesting film indeed. The opening lines uttered by the killer were very strong and gripping already… And the film continued to be strong, suspenseful and dark throughout.

In fact, this could probably be the best thriller I have watched this year.

I don’t want to give too much away… My only suggestion to you is – watch it!!!

Verdict? 8.0/10.00.

Eden a L'Ouest (Eden Is West) - French, 2009

2010-12-12T21:01:00.001Z

I didn't know what I was about to watch. Nut insisted that we watch this... and so we did...

This film is not a drama, really. Instead, it is a drama-in-a-comedy. I am not a big fan of foreign comedies simply because it takes a lot to appreciate a comedy in another language or culture. Yet, somehow... I was hooked on it after the 20-minute mark.

It was funny and easy to watch, and the pace of the film was just right and it kept the audience guessing what was to happen from one moment to the next. There was just never a dull moment. Very clever indeed.

As the film went on, I felt drawn to the main character and was rallying for him somehow. That seldom happened when I watched a comedy. So, I would say that I was really impressed by how this film managed to make me tick.

Light-hearted throughout but it did have some poignant moments...

Verdict? 6.5/10.00.

Drabet (Manslaughter) - Danish, 2005

2010-12-12T20:45:00.001Z

This film explores the subject of human conscience generally.

The direction of the film was unexpected when the main character became the one suffering from his own advocacy... and had to live with it.

Remarkable plot and it was dealt with very delicately.

Watch it and you'll know what I'm talking about!

Verdict? 7.0/10.00.

Den du frygter (Fear Me Not) - Danish, 2008

2010-12-12T20:40:00.002Z

Did I already say how much I love Danish films? Oh, yes, I do. Each time I watched a Danish film, I finished it feeling completely satisfied, completely reminded of why I watched it in the first place.

Den Du Frygter is another one fine example of why I so enjoyed Danish films.

There was just no exaggeration at all. The plot developed slowly but surely. The characters were given time to develop and there was no rush. Everything was timed so carefully... and then the climax. Oh, the climax came in so strong and extremely effective. It was really that good.

The film was worth watching. Top-rate acting as usual from Ulrich Thomsen and Paprika Steen. The plot was absolutely non-Hollywood-ish. Beautiful filming location, too.

Don't miss it.

Verdict? 7.5/10.00.

Chloe - USA, 2009

2010-12-12T20:31:00.001Z

Somehow this film fell a bit short... It just didn't quite do it for me. It was just too disappointing that I don't really know what to write about it.

Anyway, the plot is pretty simple: A man has an affair. The wife hires an escort to seduce the man so that she can catch him in the act. Of course, everything goes wrong as things are not what they seem to be...

I think I know why I didn't take to the film. It was too simple. So simple that it lacked any depth, for that matter. The characters were not convincing, the plot was too formulaic that there was no real substance in the whole film at all... It was too Hollywood-ish and it relied too much on the eroticism to keep the audience engaged.

That, obviously didn't work.

Verdict? 5.5/10.00.

Slovenka (A Call Girl) - Slovenian, 2009

2010-12-12T17:55:00.001Z

Ah, this film is about a Slovenian student trying to earn some extra cash by moonlighting as a prostitute... only to get into a big trouble after getting involved with the wrong kind of clients.

This film is interesting in that it is set in the post-communist days of Slovenia. Therefore, the plot really blends in with the characters and the background.

Half thriller and half drama, it was actually pretty good. I definitely enjoyed it very much.

Verdict? 6.5/10.00.

Brødre (Brothers) - Danish, 2004

2010-12-12T17:42:00.001Z

This is one of my favourite films ever!

The film was so powerful and everything about it was just superb. There was no Hollywood cliche, no million-dollar props, no gimmicks, no over-rated stunts... It was just the plot, the acting, and again, the plot and the acting.

Simply one of the best films ever.

Verdict? 8.0/10.00.

Napola (Before The Fall) - German, 2004

2010-12-12T17:36:00.002Z

This film is set during the WWII and I've just watched this quite recently.

It revolved around a group of boys enrolled in one of the prestigious national Nazi soldiers training schools, Napola. It showed how the young German men in those days were selected to join the Napola, and what the training comprised for those young men.

The film also zoomed into the human side of these young men before they 'graduated' from the Napola as the Nazi soldiers who committed unspeakable acts that we all read about in history books.

Interesting but the film sometimes did fall into the cliches of films about boarding schools...

Anyway, overall it was still a very good film.

Verdict? 6.5/10.00.

Arven (Inheritance) - Danish, 2003

2010-12-12T17:24:00.000Z

There is nothing not to like about this film. Absolutely nothing.

In fact, this is definitely one of the most intense dramas I've ever watched. The acting of the cast was superb. The plot was simple but profound and poignant.

I would have written a proper review of this film but I have so many films already watched, yet not logged onto my blog... So, I'm trying to play catch-up before I forget all those titles.

Anyway, let's just put it simply: Arven is a film that got me hooked to the Danish cinema.

Verdict? 7.5/10.00.

Am Ende kommen Touristen (And Along Come Tourists) - German, 2007

2010-12-12T17:18:00.001Z

I watched this film months ago... Very unpretentious film and it dealt with the subject of Holocaust quite differently from all other films that I had watched.

It didn't actually try hammering the facts of the brutality of the war constantly and directly into the audience... Instead, it was very subtle and for once, the audience didn't actually have to sit through another war film to appreciate the devastation and consequences of the Holocaust.

Watch it!

Verdict? 6.5/10.00.

A Single Man - USA, 2009

2010-12-12T17:05:00.003Z

Definitely worth watching.

The flow of the film was almost poetic, yet it kept to the reality without any exaggeration.

Both Nut and I enjoyed it.

Verdict? 7.0/10.00.

'Then We're In Business'?

2010-12-02T16:43:00.000Z

I sent an email, asking a question politely about the status of the project.
And, I got this: "If you can bla, bla, bla... then we're in business"???

Huh?! What kind of response is that? What kind of attitude is that???

That is so beyond rude. In fact, this is what I call the real kind of 'bo-tak-chek' (literally uneducated, but the real meaning is having completely no common sense whatsoever) kind of person.

Guilt

2010-12-01T19:16:00.000Z

I don't know why I should be so disturbed by the results today. I felt so bad for him. He looked so down and de-motivated. I wished I could undo what I'd done. But I couldn't.

I shouldn't really be guilty about it, should I? After all, that was a platform for people like me to "air my grievances". And besides, I daresay this was the only time when I was being completely honest about my thoughts. I had always been nonchalant about it. Never quite took it so seriously and had always been so lenient with it.

I was really just being honest. Probably the incident that drove me to this brutal honesty was unfortunate, as it was not really his fault... But well, he was unlucky, perhaps? Besides, it wasn't just my input alone that was taken into account.

Sigh, I don't know. I don't like to be the one to cause anyone any grief.

Anyway, on the bright side, at least the results for his personal metric were improving...

Let The Countdown Begin

2010-12-01T18:59:00.000Z

Oh, yes, let it begin...

It is long, long, long overdue. And I must put a stop to it. So, I am officially starting my countdown. Tick-tock-tick-tock... Each passing second brings me closer to it.

I am excited and I do feel quite daunted thinking about it. Really, I do. It could mean anything. Not easy, for sure. But well.., do I really want to continue delaying it? I shouldn't, really.

So again, let the countdown begin. Tick-tock-tick-tock...

Properties To Die For

2010-11-23T13:28:00.000Z

I don’t understand. I simply don’t.

What kind of people and who live in these properties that cost more than £2000/week? How do people afford it? How?!

Envy. I so envy people who live in those properties. Who doesn’t want to live in a 3-bedroom luxury apartment in the heart of London? I don’t know about other people… but I certainly want to! But alas, we cannot afford that. We cannot even afford living in a property costing £2000/month!

Well then, I’d better stop dreaming. No one will ever offer me a property for rent at a price that we can afford. Well, not the kind of property of my dreams, of course.

Oh well. Whatever will be, will be.

And so my hunt continues…

Shadow

2010-11-19T20:28:00.000Z

Despite the fun of the summer holidays, despite the merriment of the social life, despite the joy of the Christmas season... Despite it all, there is always a dark shadow lurking at the back of my mind. The shadow continues to follow me and there is no shrugging it away.

It really pains me whenever I allow my this dark shadow to the surface of my thoughts. But allow I will. In fact, everyday without fail, there will always be a time when I think about her.., feel for her.., and want to so much reach out to her and tell her that it will all be okay. But of course, I can't. I can't do anything under the current circumstances. And in turn, it pains me. It pains me so very deeply.

Until I know that she will be free from it all, the dark shadow is here to stay.

She will probably never realise it... but I do care... She is after all, my dearest ah-po.

Stung!

2010-11-18T19:01:00.002Z

Stung by the jellyfish, that is.

For the first time in my life, I was stung by the jellyfish. Somehow, it had just never occured to me that it could happen. So, this year it finally happened. I hit the beach... and as I was just wading through the water with the water level barely up to my thighs, I felt it. A little sting. Nothing serious but yes, I could definitely feel it. The sting was quick but sharp. Enough to make me feel the sensation.

I got out of the water to check my left thigh. Hmmm... Couldn't really see anything. Just a patch full of tiny red dots. Very tiny red dots. I went back into the water for a good 15 minutes before coming back to the beach. I checked again. Well, no more red dots. Just a patch of red skin on my upper left thigh. And I thought to myself, "Better be safe than sorry...". So, I walked towards the water slowly. Just inches away from getting my feet wet, I stood there for a minute or so. Just standing there, not moving. I felt a trickle of warmth between my legs... And as gross as it sounded, I rubbed my palm over the warmth dicreetly so the warm wetness could be spread over the red patch of my skin...

Yes, it was my own pee! I practically peed on myself to save my skin... (literally). I thought it had to be done if I wanted to spare myself from suffering from the sting of the jellyfish later. And I had heard from a lot of people that it was an effective way of disinfecting it. So, why not?!

I don't know if it was scientifically proven or not... but I sure could feel the stinging sensation on my thigh subsiding. In fact, a few hours later, I hardly remembered about the sting. Well, it seemed to be effective?

Anyway, although no pain was felt after that, I still can see the darkened patch on my skin till this day. It is there to serve as a memory of my first experience of getting stung by the jellyfish!

What a holiday.

A False Alarm

2010-10-20T22:11:00.004+01:00

By the 10th of September, there was no sign of blood at all. Not even a trickle of blood. It just couldn't be. It had never been late all these years. Never since 1993, when for some strange reason, it was completely absent for three months. But since then, it had always been punctual. It wasn't even an exaggeration when I said 'always' been punctual since then. Always.

So, 11th came and went. Nothing. 12th came and went, too. Still nothing. What happened? By 16th, I was starting to feel really nervous. Did we just join the statistics of Durex's fallout rate? Surely we couldn't be that unlucky? But then again, who knows?

By the 17th, it was starting to really to get to us both. I was beginning to contemplate buying the pregnancy test kit. I was even starting to ask about the laws governing unwanted pregnancy in the country. I was definitely getting all fidgety and nervous. We really didn't prepare or want to become parents at any point of our relationship. Having children was just not our options simply because that was never what we wanted. Being forced into parenthood by a circumstance like this would really be a disaster for us both. Seriously.

On the 18th, suddenly a patch of redness greeted me in the morning. Never had I been so happy to see my own blood as I did on that morning. A rush of relief went through me. I was pretty sure Nut felt the same.

So, a false alarm that was. Phew..!

The Intruder

2010-10-20T21:51:00.000+01:00

Sitting before my huge mirror, I was completely engrossed in my activity - I was busy with my hair, as usual. Except for the sound of the fiddling of my hair, the house was dead silent.

Then, the sounds of ringing bells broke the silence. Not loud but just about audible.., coming from another room. Definitely coming from within the house.

I was suddenly alert. Worried, in fact. I listened intently to the ringing bells.

The sounds were getting closer to the living room, where I was stationed. Whoever the intruder was, he/she was definitely approaching. My heart beat really fast as I stood up and approached the hallway cautiously.

There it was! A fat grey cat staring up at me before making its dash for its escape!!!

Relieved, yet annoyed, I chased it into our bedroom, before it managed to find its exit via the window left ajar.

Bloody cat.

And that was my eventful Sunday.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime (I've Loved You So Long) - French, 2008

2010-10-17T14:52:00.001+01:00

It seems like I've watched an awful lot of French films lately. Anyway, I'm going to make this a very short review.

This film is all right. I wouldn't say it's great. The performance of the main actresses was very good - subtle and real. However, the problem I had with this film was the length of the film - too long. And that it was very predictable. There was simply no surprise in the film. It tried to keep audience wondering and asking. Unfortunately, it didn't work for me, as it wouldn't really take a genius to guess what and why... If it had not included this element of suspense that was built in the film, it would probably have been better. At least, it would be a good drama that didn't pretend to be a mystery or thriller.

The revelation scene was very well acted, though. The emotions were raw and the actresses let it all out. Again, I must stress, the scene was good because of the acting, not the revelation itself... because I'm sure most people would have pretty much guessed the 'secret' long before it was revealed.

My verdict? 6.5/10.

9:06 - Slovenian, 2009

2010-10-15T23:03:00.000+01:00

It was more of a psychological journey of a policeman investigating a suicide case, although in some synopsis, this film is categorised as a thriller for an unknown reason (to me, at least).

The film captured very minute details which subtly took the viewers to experience the psychological journey that the policement went through. Very atmospheric.

As long as you do not set your expectations against the usual thrillers, you would be all right watching this. As I started off with the wrong expectations (as I was misled to think this was a thriller), the de-railing somehow robbed me of the full experience of the film, otherwise I would have probably rated it higher.

My verdict? 6.0/10.

Le père de mes enfants (Father of My Children) - French, 2009

2010-10-15T22:48:00.000+01:00

I didn't expect this film to be as good as it was when we decided to watch it. It was just one of those random films that we sometimes chose to watch and it could be a hit-or-miss. In this case, it was certainly a hit.

It was a very powerful drama about a family coping with the loss of the main character. The first half of the film was utilised effectively by the director to introduce the main character and the dynamics of his relationship with his family and co-workers. Just as the audience got to know the character and those around him, the character was then killed off. This was done so... simply.., that everyone including the audience could feel the loss of this character and it left everyone reeling in pain, almost. I loved how unpretentiously this was done that it felt so real. No drama, no hype about it at all.

The second part of the film then zoomed into how this loss affected the family and how they coped with it. It was very poignant and emotional, although again, there was nothing dramatic about it. It showcased the audience how it would be like in the real life for most people.

After all, for most people, life has to go on...

My verdict? 7.5/10.

Partir (Leaving) - French, 2009

2010-10-15T22:28:00.001+01:00

This is a film about a woman whose passion was re-ignited after an affair with a man who was the complete opposite of her. The film focused on her struggle to stay afloat in the new relationship, as well as her struggle to defy the odds to protect her newfound love and passion.

Quite an interesting thing to see but more suitable for female audience... I do not think men would appreciate this film very much, though.

My verdict? 6.0/10.

Please Let It Be Me!

2010-10-14T20:59:00.000+01:00

Today when the news were shared with us, I was secretly rejoicing over it. In fact, I was even hoping that 'it' would happen. And I would be chosen this time. I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait for the official announcement. I couldn't wait until next week. I simply couldn't wait.

Until the official announcement is made, nothing is for certain. I don't even know if 'it' would happen again. Well, it it does, a lot of people would be devastated. I would be, too... if I weren't chosen...

Two years ago when it happened for the first time, I was anxious and feeling exactly the same. Yet, in the end, I wasn't chosen. It should be a relief not to be chosen but it depressed me. I felt trapped because of that.

We'll see if this time I would be liberated. If I were, it would be the perfect timing.

I can't wait to find out.

Phone Dilemma

2010-10-13T19:31:00.000+01:00

I received my replacement phone yesterday evening.

No more Nokia 6700. After having the same model replaced for the fifth time and it still failed to work, I decided that I'd had enough. As a replacement, I was given three models of phones to choose from. I automatically picked a Nokia phone, although that really wasn't a Nokia model I wanted. I didn't want a touch screen phone. I'd never wanted a smart phone.

Today I tried it. I tried to like it. I tried to familiarise myself with it. I tried and tried and tried. Oh, yes, I sure tried... Yet, if anyone asked me if I liked my new phone, my first instinctive answer would be, "I hate it!".

I really do hate it. I know it is a smarter phone. A better phone. But I just am not a gadgetry person. I only want a simple but sleek phone which allows me to make phone calls, send text messages, take good pictures and most importantly, a phone with 3-dimensional buttons! Unfortunately, buttons this Nokia doesn't have...

I don't know what to do. On one hand, I need a new sexy-looking Nokia phone. On another hand, this new sexy-looking one is just not the one I have in mind...

Scalp Psoriasis: Next Treatment Please!

2010-10-12T16:13:00.001+01:00

So, my previous treatment didn't work.

Olive oil and dead sea salt had no effect on me, much to my disappointment.

My latest attempt is with Cocois Tar & Coconut Oil compound... I wrapped my head with a cling film after painstakingly applying the ointment on my scalp and slept on it last night. I washed it all out this morning although I can still smell the tar in my hair right now (mmmm...mmmm...).

The flakes have become much lesser. I am to do this treatment for seven days consecutively.

I remain hopeful.

p/s: Dots of guttate P are starting to develop on my calves and arms. I plastered each one of them with my steroid ointment to contain them from spreading! This latest development really freaks me out as I have never had the P beyond my scalp before... Sigh.

Finally Booked!

2010-10-08T14:55:00.001+01:00

Phewww...!!!

I think I need to attend a stress management training. Booking for holidays always stresses me out. Always! Just like this year end holiday that we are planning. We have decided on the city (that was the easy part) and next came the logistics of getting and being there.

Being one who's almost a control freak and one who hates surprises, I just had to be the one to decide the accommodation. That was complicated. I spent hours on the internet doing a research on the area, reading the reviews of different places, cheking out the prices and finally, filtering out the 'ideal' areas and places where we would potentially put up at. That took days. And because of my paranoia, I always needed to get all confirmations in writing. Until I got the final confirmation from everyone (ie. B&B, trains, etc), I simply couldn't concentrate on anything else. I am seriously that uptight. And crazy.

But finally all done! I am so relieved. I can literally feel all the stress leaving my body... We now only have to look forward to the year end now. We will be spending the post-Xmas and New Year celebrations away from UK, which is fantastic!

A Groovy Kind of Friendship

2010-09-30T15:37:00.002+01:00

Remember those days when Internet Relay Chat (IRC) was THE thing that we all were so addicted with? IRC was the Facebook of the 90’s when internet began to seep into our daily lives. Oh, those were the days!

I remember I was in my very late teens then. Being a teen, I was naturally intrigued by this chat programme that everyone was talking about. So, I explored the IRC world in 1998 when I owned my very first computer.

The minute I familiarised myself with my computer (having no previous relationship with any computer before) and got a good grip and control of my mouse, I started to venture to the dark side.

I spent hours and many sleepless nights chatting away on the IRC. Over these passing hours and sleepless nights, some friendships were formed. And of all these friendships that eventually withered, one has sustained over the years.

All I know of this friendship is, it can always be expressed this way:

Whenever I thought of him, I’d smile.
Whenever I thought about our friendship, I’d feel so amazed.

Isn’t it amazing that two people of the opposite sex, of two different countries, could form a friendship from a virtual chatroom and stay as friends over the years? Two people so close, yet so far. Two people having never spoken or heard one another’s voice once. Two people living separate lives, yet in so many ways, continue to be a part of one another’s life. Two people, never running out of things to communicate, no matter where they are in their lives. Two people of opposite sex, staying friends… and never letting anything beyond a platonic relationship get in the way.

I have absolutely no regrets about this friendship. I’ve never wondered about any ‘what if’s’, as I wouldn’t want it any other way. In fact, what makes this friendship so special is what it has always been, what it is and what it will always be.

And here’s to our 12 years of friendship, SEH… Cheers!

The Australia's Next Top Model Is... Oops!!!

2010-09-29T14:22:00.000+01:00

Sarah Murdoch, the host of the Australia's Next Top Model made a super-huge blunder last night by announcing the wrong winner LIVE on their national tv!!!

It's all over the internet now. What an embarrassment for her and the 'winner'!

Ugh, I definitely wouldn't want to be in her shoes right now...

Check it out here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/mediamonkeyblog/2010/sep/29/australias-next-top-model

Scalp Psoriasis: A Salute to Model Caridee English!

2010-09-28T21:10:00.002+01:00

I don't mean to bombard my blog with only scalp-psoriasis-related posts... but my recent flare-up is re-igniting my desire to fight the symptoms.

So, I am trying to keep the momentum going by documenting the progress of any treatment I undertake. Of course, I am also hoping to educate whoever that stumble upon my blog on psoriasis, scalp P specifically.

I will still blog about other things... For now, just bear with me.

In the meantime, do check out this article on Caridee English, a previous winner of America's Next Top Model who is suffering from psoriasis.

http://www.stylelist.com/2010/06/04/caridee-english-psoriasis/

Scalp Psoriasis: Olive Oil Treatment

2010-09-28T10:51:00.002+01:00

Oh well... More hours burnt yesterday on the treatment of P. Guess it's nothing new anymore. It's my life. It's been like that for more than 20 years.

Heck, the flare-up is really getting me down.

Anyway, I tried the olive oil treatment yesterday.

30 minutes on the olive oil application all over my scalp.
Covered up my hair in the shower cap to keep it contained and heated for another good 30 minutes.
20 minutes of massaging and combing out the scales after that.
Showered and washed my hair.
Then soaked my head in a bowl of dead sea salt water for 20 minutes.
Quick shower to rinse it off.

So, two hours of my day fully dedicated to my P. I am so exhausted... I only want this to work!!!

Scalp Psoriasis: Another Battle

2010-09-27T11:39:00.003+01:00

Oh well - the steroid-free method does not seem to be working. As I'm typing, I can feel the infestation in my hair. Aah... my scalp psoriasis... It's really a curse indeed.

I'm at my wit's end as to what I should do to get rid of the scales and everything else associated with this disease. I've been trying the natural way and instead of getting any better, it's getting out of control! I'm so discouraged... yet I'm really reluctant to continue with the ongoing use of my steroid ointment.

It's worrying me greatly to feel slight flakiness to areas beyond my scalp. It's starting to feel somewhat dry behind my ears and around my nape. And worst of all, I'm also starting to see the dry patches getting bigger right at the hairline near my forehead. That frightens me... I honestly don't think I can cope with having psoriasis on my forehead!

I don't know what to do... My next form of treatment is going to be olive oil, followed by... something...? Perhaps I will just apply lots of olive oil on olive oil, I guess.

By the way, these are some useful links to educate oneself on this disease:

http://www.psoriasis-help.org.uk/
http://www.ifpa-pso.org/
http://www.psoriasis.org/
http://www.talkpsoriasis.com/
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Psoriasis_explained?OpenDocument
http://www.psoriasis.org.sg/
http://www.everybody.co.nz/
http://www.psoriasissociety.org/

Death Match by Lincoln Child

2010-09-24T14:34:00.000+01:00

I picked out this book out of the many from my Amazon search results because of the positive reviews given by the readers. In addition, I was quite taken by the easy-to-read narration style of the author after reading the sample first chapter of the book.

I ordered it from Amazon and I received it a few days later...

I finished the book in four days. I was totally hooked and I couldn't wait to find out the ending. So much so that I couldn't wait to get back to the book while I was at work.

All in all, I definitely enjoyed it. It was entertaining, fast-paced and definitely full of suspense. I look forward to start "Utopia", which is already in my posession, by the same author.

Rating: 7.5/10.

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer

2010-09-24T13:48:00.001+01:00

This book has been around for a long, long time. I have never been tempted to read it. Never... until two weeks ago. I decided to go for it after seeing it appear on the recommended list in the Amazon many times. Well, Nut got it for me from the local charity shop.

I read it very slowly in the beginning. I wasn't used to Jeffrey Archer's narration style, to be honest. So, I was trying to get used to it... and also the font of the book. It took me a while adjusting and by the time I reached the 100th page, the pace quickened. From that point onwards, the pages turned pretty easily and quickly.

When I came to the last few pages of the book, I remember feeling a lump in my throat. And when I finished the last sentence in the book, somehow tears were actually flowing from my eyes!

It was a good book. Very good plot. Very touching. And I miss Kane and Abel.

Rating: 7.5/10.

I Am Back...

2010-09-24T13:34:00.001+01:00

I have just returned from my summer holidays. The holidays have done me good - sun, sea, massages and lots of good food. Aaah, I miss it all already!

In the past couple of months, I have gone through a very rough patch emotionally. It had been difficult most of the time trying to stabilise my emotions, as they had been very unpredictable. Sometimes, I even wondered if I was getting mad.., which actually is still a lingering question in my mind every now and then...

Anyway, I have also read a lot recently. There are many books which I have read that I would so love to record down here for my own future reference purposes. So, in my next few posts, I will just put up all the books that I have read in the past and my rating for them. Perhaps, they can serve as a guidance for others, too?

And just to sum up this post, suffice to say, "I am back...".

Scalp Psoriasis: A Break From Steroid

2010-09-12T21:28:00.002+01:00

I am taking a break from steroid for the treatment of my psoriasis. I think it is time that I do that. I noticed that my psoriasis usually came back with a vengeange the very minute I stopped applying Cloderm. It must be one of the side effects of steroid. I was really disturbed by that observation. I really cannot cope with the idea of it spreading or getting any worse than it already is. So, a break from steroid it is.

I will still keep my Cloderm for emergency but for now, I have decided to try other drug-free treatments. I have bought an SLS-free shampoo early this week. I have also bought some Dead Sea salt. And I have with me a bottle of vitamin E oil.

I have started to apply the vitamin E oil. Of course, the flakes did not go away as quickly as when I applied Cloderm. But, I remain hopeful.

As for the shampoo and salt, I have also started using them. I have washed my hair with the shampoo three times now. I haven't seen anything too obvious as my scalp is still flaking. Well, probably not as itchy... I have also soaked my head in a basin of the Dead Sea salt twice now. Again, nothing too obvious. Hmmm... I told myself to be patient as this is not steroid, thus I should not expect any miracles. I will continue with this treatment for at least a month before giving up.

I do hope beyond hope that this will work. Oh, I so hope...

Please let this be the solution to my infestation.

Alive...

2010-08-31T10:58:00.000+01:00

Yes, I'm still alive! And I've decided to stay alive, if that makes any sense to anyone.

I'm sick and tired of feeling depressed and negative. So, I'm now trying to prop myself up and steer my thoughts to more positive things instead of dwelling on the negative. I must be optimistic and positive again. I mustn't let all the negativities control and take over my life.

I'm sure positivity breeds more positivities. I will survive and overcome all the obstacles. I will make sure of that. Oh, yes indeed. I'm really not afraid anymore.

This is it. Time to move on and be positive!

I am definitely still alive. And so alive.

Downward Spiral

2010-08-12T15:43:00.000+01:00

Spiralling spiralling spiralling... Down. Down, down, down somemore.

Personally, I feel that my life is so empty lately. When I start thinking, all my thoughts are very negative. When I stop thinking, I feel numb.

It feels like I'm falling into a depression.

Torn Between Two Warring Women

2010-08-06T20:27:00.001+01:00

Torn between two warring women indeed. I have always been in this position from the day I was born.

In fact, I should say that I have always been privileged to be loved by these two women - my own mother and my paternal grandmother.

Nevertheless, it must sound strange, isn't it, that I describe my position as 'torn between the two' when it should purely be a privilege to be loved by two most important women in my life?

Unfortunately, along with the privilege comes the price. I sometimes have to choose. Although this choice was not forced upon me by either of these women, circumstances sometimes made it inevitable. When I had to choose, I knew I would somehow cause grief to one of them. And knowing this always made me feel guilty and it broke my heart. But do I really have a choice?

I find myself in this situation again now. It is so emotionally complicated. It is never easy to justify to either of them the reason for my choice - in the past, present or future.

I only hope they do realise that I am very much torn between two of them. I am so torn because I love them both. Torn because they are two warring women.

Agitation- and Anger-filled Journey

2010-08-05T12:12:00.001+01:00

My long haul flight coming back to London filled me with agitation and anger… with a passenger.

When the door of the aircraft closed, I was overjoyed to find out that no one was sitting with me. That meant two empty seats next to me. And my sleep-deprived self could stretch out and get my much needed sleep.

The aircraft finally soared into the sky… Just when the ‘Fasten Your Seat Belt” light was turned out, an obese female passenger approached me from the back. She asked very politely if I would mind that she take the seat next to me. Her request caught me offguard. What was I meant to say??? How was I to decline??? I was cornered! I had no choice but to respond that I did not mind. Very reluctantly. From that moment on, I was filled with agitatioon… and anger even. I was so angry with this passenger. I was so angry with myself for not turning her down. I was just so angry!

As expected, I could not sleep during the journey. I could not sleep because I was too angry. Too agitated. I was seething. And I could not find the right position to sleep comfortably in.

I know I am selfish to complain about this but I am selfish… I needed my break after a difficult and emotional six days in my hometown. I just wanted to sleep, for goodness sake!!! And this passenger, a very obese one at that, ruined it all. I ruined it all the moment I said she could sit in one of the empty seats.

I learnt my lesson: I would not be shy to say no the next time someone asks me for any of the empty seats next to me in any long haul flights. The empty seats are just too precious.

If Only I Could

2010-07-28T17:11:00.001+01:00

Seeing ah po today was... very surreal.

She looked so small sitting in that rest chair. She broke into tears the minute I went to hold her hands. She seemed so fragile. It broke my heart to see her so different from the usual up-and-about self.

She cried a lot. She ate so little. She talked with little clarity. She was depressed. She is depressed.

She said to me, "Having this illness is a very difficult thing".

Tears kept flowing from her once big and lively eyes, which have now become droopy and lifeless... I wished I could take away all the emotional pain and depression she was feeling..., is feeling. I really wish I could protect her from this illness.

If only I could...

Living, getting old, sickness and death - that's the universal cycle of life in the Buddhist teaching. And now I am witnessing it myself and am truly beginning to appreciate the meaning of that cycle.

But at the back of my mind, I still wondered and wished - if only I could do something to spare my ah po this illness.

Oh, if only...

Oh No, Where's My Wallet?!

2010-07-28T16:50:00.001+01:00

I cannot believe this - I left my wallet at the boarding area today!!!

Sheer forgetfulness or bad luck, huh?! Both, I reckon.

Anyway, I am now without my wallet, money, all my important ID and banking documents (ie. ID card, bank cards, National Insurance cards, credit cards), etc. I cannot believe I could make such a stupid mistake. I am so pissed off with myself. I am only trying to comfort myself that at least it was found by an honest person who reported it rather than pocketed it. Well, it could be worse...

So, I won't be able to get hold of any of those items until I get back to the capital city's airport next week to claim my wallet... I hope this is now the final episode of my recent bad luck/disaster spell. Sigh.

Life can sometimes be so exhausting.

Rough and Rougher...

2010-07-23T17:02:00.000+01:00

It's been a very rough time...

I'm greatly affected by what's happening to my grandma. Some nights I slept, some nights I didn't.

All I want is for her not to suffer or feel any pain.

My Ah-Po, My Grandma

2010-07-18T16:44:00.001+01:00

My grandma. My Ah-po. 82 this year. Suffered from a stroke a couple of days ago that leaves her wheelchair-bound. Leaves her with a slurring speech. And eventually it will leave her with nothing but perhaps just... memories...

I'm sad.

I'm sad because she's my grandma and she has to experience this. I'm sad because she's the grandma who took care of me when I was a child for seven years. I'm sad because she was like a mother to me in my early years. I'm sad because I just saw her as the active ah-po I've always known her as not too long ago and now to learn that she cannot be that active ah-po again. I'm sad because I know that the brutal reality is she will never stand up and walk again. I'm sad because I know everyday I'm losing a little bit of her as her condition continues to deteriorate. I'm sad because I know she's made wrong judgments in life that contribute to the kind of values most of her children are instilled with today. I'm sad because I feel for her situation now. I'm sad that she'll forever not see, or refuse to see the truth despite it all. I'm sad because she'll probably just remember me as the granddaughter who wasn't a grandson she'd hoped for..., instead the granddaughter who was conceived from the belly of her most despised daughter-in-law.

I'm sad.

Most of all, I'm sad because she's my grandma, and she's one of the very few people who has a very special place in my heart. I'm sad for her, I'm sad about her and I'm sad with her.

Ah-po, I love you.

The Shameful Family Affair

2010-07-17T12:57:00.000+01:00

I received a disturbing news from my sister.

My grandma is very sick. And my mother is looking after her.

Nothing wrong with that... except that they have been almost sworn enemies from day one of my mother's marriage to my father.

The whole picture of my mother taking care of my grandma disturbs me. A lot. She has been assigned the duty to do cook for my grandmother, to feed her, tend to her, to help her with her personal needs like going to the toilet, etc.

My father whereas, has been assigned the duty to sleep overnight at my grandma's, and watch after her and tend to her personal needs during the night.

So basically my parents have been assigned to take care of my grandma during her sickness.

Where is my aunt, the daughter of my grandmother who lives just five minutes away from my grandmother?

Where is my uncle, the son of my grandmother who lives just 15 minutes away from my grandmother?

I am very disturbed by this arrangement, which is totally unfair. The assignment was given by the most precious children of my grandma without any fair consultation with my parents. The fact that my mother has to be so directly involved in this assignment irks me to no end.

Who are these people to delegate their own filial duties to my mother?! Why are they not involved in ANYTHING at all, except for visiting my grandma as and when? Why are they not lifting their fingers to help their OWN mother?! What kind of children are they?! They have been the most precious in my grandma's eyes, as far as I can remember.

Of the four children my grandma has, my father has been pretty much disowned by my grandma. He has been the black sheep in the family. And now, he is the one to care for her, while the others are doing absolutely NOTHING. This makes me boil!

All children SHOULD have a share in taking care of their parents. ALL children of blood relation. This whole arrangement disgusts me. Absolutely disgusting.

How does my grandma feel to be tended to by the one person she hates most in her life? It must be somewhat degrading... And how can my mother even agree to do this? I feel for her. It pains me to know that she is doing this. I know she's soft-hearted and can't say 'no', but this is all so wrong. My mother should NOT be doing this. She has to stop before this role becomes her.

She HAS to. I have to hatch a plan to get her out of this before she is sucked in too deep!!!

Working With Idiots

2010-07-16T10:42:00.001+01:00

What does it feel like when one's stuck working with idiots? Or people who are complete arseholes?

My Friday morning is ruined because of this particular idiot I'm working with. An idiot who's also a bully. I feel like just shooting him a "Go to hell" email... but of course I can't do that.

What an arsehole MP is. Undoubtedly.

Night, Interrupted

2010-07-13T09:35:00.000+01:00

On impulse, we bought a tent in Tesco on Saturday.

On impulse, we decided to put up the tent in our garden that same afternoon. We thought it would be a good idea to experiment sleeping in the tent prior to any actual camping.

On Sunday night, we moved into the tent at about ten-ish. We tried to make ourselves comfortable in the little space. We tossed and turned to find the best position to sleep in. We heard the distant roar of the traffic from the main road. We heard some noises we had not heard before. We tossed and turned somemore. My back was hurting. My sides were hurting.

Alas... This conversation took place:

- "Nut, are you asleep?"

- "No... Are you okay?"
- "Well, my back is hurting..."
- "Do you want to go inside?"
- "Errr... Yes, I think so. And you?"
- "Well, what's the time now?"
- "It's 3am."
- "Yes, let's do that!"

So, at 3am in the morning, we carried our pillows and duvet from the tent and crept into the house.

And we went straight to our bed, feeling warm and snug and cosy...

Alas...

Sleep finally came for us both after the interrupted night in the tent.

Madeo (Mother) - Korean, 2009

2010-07-12T13:57:00.003+01:00

I watched this film on dzong2’s recommendation. I haven’t watched a Korean film for a long time and I didn’t quite know what to expect. But I was definitely encouraged by the IMDB’s rating of the film.

Obviously, this film is about a mother. It is about a mother who goes to a great length to save her son from being imprisoned for a murder her son is accused of. This film undoubtedly serves as a reminder to us all the great love a mother will always have for her child, no matter what.

The opening scene is very surreal. Hmmm… The mother is right in the middle of the screen. She walks across a field in the middle of nowhere, then stops. Then the music plays and she starts swaying and dancing. How surreal is that?

Well, overall the film gives an impression of it being a comedy because it is very light-hearted… but it carries its weight in the character development and the theme. Although it feels slow and surreal in the beginning, the film introduces us to all the main characters cleverly. It is done very subtly… Not rushed at all. By the first half of the film, we all know what each character is like – what he/she likes or dislikes, what he/she does, his/her habits, etc. Very impressive.

The plot unfolds slowly and when it happens, it just happens. Nothing dramatic at all. The pace really picks up at the second half of the film after the murder takes place. The mother really goes all the way to prove her son’s innocence. And I can’t help but root for her to solve the mystery and nail down the real murderer.

I can’t say or pinpoint exactly what is great about the film but it left a mark in your memory after it ended. It just lingers on... In fact, it grows on me. I now look back and wonder why… yet I still can’t say what it is. It just has the X factor, perhaps? As I said, it is very subtle and that is the beauty of it. The final scene is very poignant and really gives the film a very profound closure. It is a beautiful shot. And overall, it continues to linger in my mind..

Recommended? Yes indeed!!!

My verdict? 7.0/10.

36 Quai des Orfèvres (36) - French, 2004

2010-07-12T10:34:00.004+01:00

While the whole world was watching the World Cup Final yesterday, I was making myself all cosy and watched 36 instead.

Starring two heavyweights of French film industry - Daniel Auteil and Gerard Depardieu, I was pretty confident I was in for a treat!

Genre of the film is crime and thriller - my favourite!

This film is about two policemen of rival teams, with different work principles battling it out to solve a series of violent bank robberies. To solve the case will bring glory and of course, promotion to the head of the team. However, things go terribly wrong during the operation, worsening the already existing frictions between the two policemen. This becomes the turning point in both their lives and triggers a chain of events which are irreversible. There is also an underlying theme about loyalty as well.

The truth is... this is more of a good cop vs. bad cop story. And it is also a very fast paced film. There isn’t a dull moment in the film because everything that happens to the characters are all interlinked. Although there is a lack of originality in the plot, the acting of both the actors are so good and effective that the film manages to stand out on its own. It is an emotional drama, and sometimes I feel that the many shootout scenes in the film seem more like an attempt by the director to be Hollywood-ish. Anyway, as those scenes don’t really mar the overall effect of the plot of the film, I guess that doesn’t really bother me. After all, this is a ‘cops’ film.

Music… Hmmm… Funnily enough, I don’t remember any music from the film. Nothing too memorable there, I suppose.

Most scenes are set in the city of Paris… so again, nothing extraordinary there.

Well, well… To be honest, I think this is a film that should be appreciated for its entertainment value and great acting, of course, more than anything. It is entertaining to watch, nothing too deep, but still it will tug at your heart’s string every now and then.

I will definitely recommend this.

The final verdict from me? 6.5/10.

Tummien perhosten koti (The Home of the Dark Butterflies) - Finnish, 2008

2010-07-09T15:06:00.001+01:00

We originally wanted to watch Levottomat (2000) by Aku Louhimies but after just 15 minutes, we both concluded that it was a soft porn. Perhaps we dismissed it too easily. Well, I will one day revisit that film. Now is just not the time...

So, we turned to Tummien perhosten koti instead.

This film is about a group of boys who are sent into an 'exile' on an island for their misdeeds. They are sent there to be disciplined by the headmaster. The plot mainly follows the story of the latest 'castaway' who is sent there after a tragedy befalls his family. What kind of tragedy, we don't know. That is a mystery to be revealed in the later part of the film. Most of the film revolves around the characters and evolution of the boys on the island... and what happens to the place itself in the end.

Tommi Korpela carried the role of the headmaster very well indeed. Initially, I thought that the headmaster is really nasty and unreasonable but as the story progresses, I started seeing a more human side of him. A very compassionate character indeed...

The main character is player by Niilo Syväoja. His role requires him to be more reserved most of the time and of course, that was carried out remarkably.

Funnily anough, although the plot of the film is meant to focus on the role played by Niilo Syväoja, the actual climax of the film is not really centred on him. It is based on a dark event which happens on the island that brings about the end to the peace and goodness of the place.

On top of that, another focus is of course on the 'home' itself on the island. It is the home that is headed by the headmaster - the home that is ambitious and aims to be self-sufficient with its "Butterflies Project" (hence the name and also the metaphore of the title of the film).

Overall well-casted, well-acted, it has beautiful backdrop and a wonderful plot. A little melodramatic sometimes but not overly done.

I enjoyed it very much. The early part of the film somehow reminded me of the Swedish film, Ondskan, most probably due to the bullying activities in the home.

Anyway, I do recommend this one. Final verdict? 6.5/10.

Ne Te Retourne Pas (Don't Look Back) - French, 2009

2010-07-09T14:26:00.001+01:00

I only found out about this film after watching Dans Ma Peau. It’s written and directed by Marina de Van – the main actress in Dans Ma Peau.

After some googling activities, I learnt that Sophie Marceau and Monica Bellucci played the main roles in the film. Well, knowing that these two are big names in France, I thought why not give it a go. Besides, the genre of the film is thriller, which I’ve always liked.

111 minutes of the film is actually a bit too long, to be honest. After all, there really is not much there, in my opinion. Okay, it isn’t a bad film but it just isn’t… memorable…

I didn’t feel there is any depth in the storyline and for a film starring such high profile actresses, I was certainly expecting a lot. A whole lot, in fact.

The plot tells of a woman who’s confused about her identity, as she has no memories of her childhood. She then embarks on a journey to unravel the mystery of her past. As she learns more and more about herself, she only becomes more confused, if nothing else. The complexity of her background is only explained at the end of the film, which by then takes us to a little village in Italy.

Basically, the first half of the film is set in France and the second half in Italy. There is nothing to boast about the locations, as there are no surprises there.

The overall acting in the film is all right… I didn’t get to see the kind of depth and substance that Monica Bellucci displayed in her other films like Malena or Irréversible.

The only interesting thing in the film are the visual effects of the actresses when a literal transformation from the face of one actress to another’s happened right before my eyes! It was effective and at the same time quite funny to watch. I couldn’t help laughing at that scene!

Anyway, not much to say there without giving away the spoilers. A chick click in many ways. Not great but watchable…

My verdict? 5.5/10.

At The Crossroads

2010-07-08T12:09:00.001+01:00

I am at the crossroads now. I do not know which road to take. I do not know which road will take me on a great journey… and which road will take me to the doomed.

I have tried so hard. God knows how hard I have tried. Yet, I am still stumbling. And now I am stumbling right in the middle of the crossroads.

And unless I have the map or Tom Tom for that matter, I will be stuck here. Stuck.

Being stuck is not a great feeling. It simply means nothing.

And let’s get back to the main question – which way should I take at the crossroads???

Nada

2010-07-07T21:58:00.002+01:00

This has been a horrible week so far. I have been so unproductive that I feel like I’m no different from the dead.

What is wrong with me? I haven’t got any motivation to do anything.

Nada. Just nada.

Talk Is Cheap

2010-07-06T09:51:00.000+01:00

The decision is made.

We are moving in the autumn!

It is funny that this decision was made in the space of an hour during our journey back on the train. We realized that we have talked about it long enough now. We have been here for more than 2.5 years. I feel like I am starting to rot. Nut feels like he is starting to rot, too. We are rotting slowly but surely. We are rotting just like the house is rotting at the moment.

Besides, talk is cheap. It is time to act.

Kielletty hedelmä (Forbidden Fruit) - Finnish, 2009

2010-07-05T15:07:00.007+01:00

Another Finnish film watched during the weekend…

As you can see, the English title of this film is “Forbidden Fruit”… Perhaps you can guess as well what this film is about?

Anyway, this film is unlike the other European films I have gotten used to watching. Although the focus of the film is religion, it is not heavy-going at all. Instead, it is quite a light and easy watch, mainly because the protagonists of the film are two young girls. It can also be viewed as a ‘coming-of-age’ film, as the viewers are taken on a spiritual journey that these young girls embark on in the film. It is also a film about friendship... I am sure the joy, the pain, the clarity and the confusion that they experience in life due to the nature of their religion are very much shared by the viewers, particularly the young female viewers. It is a very ‘girly’ film and would suit young female viewers, I should say. I am not sure if Nut enjoyed it very much but he sat through the film anyway.

It is really not a bad film at all. The acting is good. The plot is simple enough to understand. The backdrop of the filming is perfect – the contrasts of urban and rural life in Finland are unmissable. In fact, some of the most beautiful Finnish landscapes are featured in the film.

I enjoyed the film for the simplicity of the plot.

The final verdict? 6.0/10.

The Naming of the Danes

2010-07-01T16:55:00.000+01:00

'Jacob', 'Jonas' and 'Joachim'...

What do the names have in common?

Well, for one, they are the typical Danish names. And obviously, they all start with a 'J'.

If anyone has a chance, do get a Danish to read these names to you. I find the pronunciation of the names very amusing. Hearing these names said in Danish never fail to bring a smile to my face...

Sauna - (Sauna) Finnish, 2008

2010-06-30T15:45:00.002+01:00

Another Finnish film in a week! In fact, I’ll be watching more of them from now on.

Okay, the genre of this film? Horror. Interesting – I wondered how a Finnish horror would be like. Seemed to be very well-reviewed on the IMDB…

Before started watching this, I read the synopsis and to be honest, I was not 100% too keen on it.

Anyway, I watched this in the evening, as usual. I clicked on the ‘Play’ button and the film started with the onscreen narration of the background information on the war and history and all those stuff. Then the year of the setting of the film came onscreen – 1595. Hmmm… Now I was feeling even more unsure of the film. Personally, I didn’t have a high keenness on historical films dating back to centuries ago. So, I knew as soon as I saw the date it was an automatic dampener (for me) in some ways.

Then the characters… The cast comprises mostly male. In fact, only one or two women, if I remember correctly. Too male-dominated. Again, not quite my thing.

Okay, the plot is really simple and it very much revolves around the theme of men and their conscience (or lack of), especially during war and post-war… In this film, the two main characters have to deal with the consequences of choosing to ignore their conscience when they have the luxury of making the right choice. The film emphasizes more on the theme than the horror aspect of it.

Anyway, there is still an air of eeriness of the atmosphere and it is felt throughout the film but the film seems to move quite slowly, at least it felt so to me. To be fair, I do think the overall acting, setting, atmosphere, effect, etc is really good. Unfortunately, it just didn’t do it for me because I was expecting a lot more, in order to offset my ‘un-keenness’ on films set in that period. Well, the ‘a lot more’ didn’t happen and in the end, I found myself not being able to be objective in this review.

My final verdict (my bias included)? 5.5/10.